Time Magazine’s cover of a woman breastfeeding her son was intended to bring awareness to attachment parenting. Instead it made the long-suffering magazine look desperate for attention, and some poor kid a lifelong subject of playground bullying. I mean, what is the cutoff for breastfeeding, little league?
Most of my friends who breastfed didn’t have the cover subject’s fresh “après yoga” appearance. If the article was actually about parenting, why didn’t Time choose someone who looked more like an exhausted mom than a model? Let’s face it, being with a kid 24 hours a day is not relaxing.
Attachment parenting encourages practices like co-sleeping (baby sleeps with the parents) and baby-wearing (do I have to explain it?). According to some research, those children will grow up to be good-natured and happy adults.
Does that mean the rest of us have ruined our kids for life if we didn’t do “the right thing.”
I felt like the perfect mother and did do all the right things—until I gave birth. I was consumed with attachment parenting, but for all the wrong reasons.
My baby nursed around the clock, and never slept for more than an hour at a time. An “expert” told me to put her in the bed with us at night to make things easier (or was that more dangerous). I awoke one morning to find her helpless little noggin embedded face-first in my husband’s equally exhausted armpit.
I conducted an emergency extraction and cursed my poor judgment and inability to live without sleep.
Another tip I got was to put her in a baby carrier on my chest (baby wearing), so she could relax and feel my heartbeat. As soon as I strapped her in that thing she screamed like a cat stuck in revolving bicycle spokes. I pulled her out and cursed myself for spending 80 bucks on a sling that wasn’t suitable to hold a philodendron.
After three months of constant attachment to a miserable baby, my desire to be the perfect mom gave way to a desire to lie down and sleep for several months. I looked like a tired zombie. That’s when my neighbor came to the rescue.
“You need the Ferber book,” she said. And, by following the sage Dr. Ferber’s advice, we learned to let our baby cry herself to sleep—a practice that is probably not in the attachment parenting rule book, so sue me.
Maybe I didn’t do all of the right things, but I did some things right—like weaning her before she started tap dancing. That would have been awkward.
I found Paulette's article ill informed and (as you stated) terribly biased as AP didn't work for her personally. Thanks for bringing up the WHO's recommendation for extended breastfeeding. You might also have mentioned that the world wide average for breast feeding is what now..4 years? Come on America time to get with it!! Also how rude to make the comment that moms should look exhausted from being with their kids 24 hours a day. Moms CAN be AP moms AND be beautiful and happy!! BTW The woman on the time cover wasn't a model she's a real mom.
I did attachment parenting starting in the 90's (after reading Dr Sear's books) so I know that AP was actually called AP in the 90's.....but I guess most hadn't read about it so didn't know it existed? My friends and I sure did... (Yep, we read then,read now!)
Yes of course the women "who have to work" should not be made to feel guilty!! BUT, and here's the part screaming with controversy.....How many moms really NEED to work in middle class America? Sure to support the American lifestyle of having just the right stuff in the "proper" quanities most have to work. I suppose I "should" have worked outside our home to measure up, but as I am lucky enough to be married to an employed partner whose job affords us our basic needs I don't "need" to. Sure we buy most of our things 2nd hand (but as so many others buy such lovely things ..there are plenty of great hand things to satiate us! I do know quite a few women who "need to work" to afford that lovely well furnished home, lovely wardrobe, the right vacation etc. I am NOT saying this is a wrong choice!! I just want to be clear this is NOT a "need" it is a "want". And personally I believe that far more mothers in this country have "want" and "need" confused. Let's not insult the women who truly do "need" to work to support their family's NEEDS.
The teeth comment makes me doubt whether the writer actually did breastfeed her children because the natural reaction of the mom (pulling back and uttering an ouch) teaches them after 1 or 2 times not to bite (most don't ever bite. Babies don't usually use their teeth to suck.)